My Winds

This picture has little to do with the title to this post. I took this picture in Alberta Canada while I was there for a long weekend. I drove up from Couer d'Alene one weekend in the summer of 2005. I had just bought my first real digital camera, and wanted to take some awesome photos. I have bought a few cameras since then, but I got some really good photos with that little Nikon CoolPix camera.

I chose this picture because it is a statement of who I was as compared to who I am right now. I was an idealist then. I was someone who could pick up his life and do something fun, original, and meaningful at the drop of a hat. There is some of that person still inside of me, but it seems to be harder and harder every year to be that guy. Maybe I am fighting against these made up winds that I say are pushing me to where they want me to go. I was thinking along these lines today when I wrote a small poem. Maybe I was experiencing memories of a friend who has been away for awhile. Anyhow it is a small poem about life I guess. I try not to analyze what I write, because I tend to overanalyze things anyway.

The working title is "Winds of my Life"


I am sore today
from the coughing,
aches, and pains.

This is not the life
I thought would happen
,so much is different.

When we are kids
we dream of life,
and what we can be.

This life molds me.
As much as I try,
I cannot shape it.

Fighting against wind,
I move to directions
from deep in my heart.

But my body betrays me,
shifting from the force
of the winds around me.

What once was my horizon
is now off to my right.
My direction is lost to me.

My angel leads me on,
but her voice gets lost
in the wind sometimes.

She tells me 'stay'
and she will care for me,
for my heart and my soul.

But her voice is distant
not beside me as I wish,
somewhere out of my vision.

Today I quell the winds
with words made of symbols,
answers made of riddles.

The wind it tries to move me,
it tries to shift my perception
to deafen me to my own heart.

I can stay the wind for you
if the words come out right,
if my words are from my heart.

Nate